That's what he said

The boy is a constant source of entertainment. This week he has made me:

Laugh:
(After pooping his pants and receiving a scolding)
Calvin: Be happy and I'll say I love you.
Me: No, I'm not happy. That makes me very sad when you don't go to the potty.
Calvin: Mom, just be a good friend!

And after telling him no more Scooby snacks because he's had far too much sugar for one day, throws his hands in the air and says "I give up!" as he stomps out of the kitchen.

Feel nervous for his future:
After telling him a bedtime story of Hansel and Gretel where the characters are Calvin and Autumn and the mysterious house in the forest is made of cheese. He looked thoughtful for a minute before saying quietly, "do it again. This time the witch eats Autumn."

And feel a moment of real fear:
This morning while trying to decide on a toy to take to the babysitter (my mom). "No mom, I want the man" (as he's pulling open a random storage closet we never open). I say, "what man? there's no toys in there, your man is in here." to which he responds, "no mom, the other man. The man that's my friend and we talk and he stays in here." Ummmm. Yikes.