Yesterday Andy left town while the boy was down for a nap. When Calvin woke up he kept asking for his daddy. I showed him that his car was gone and tried to explain that he'd be back soon. He said "daddy at computer!" so we'd go look in his office, but no one was there. He then said "daddy downstairs!" so we looked in every room downstairs. This went on and on until we'd looked through the entire house, garage, and yard. Then when he finally believed me that his daddy was gone, he doubled over and sobbed. The afternoon didn't get any better. When Andy called last night I had Calvin talk to him for a few minutes, but when he hung up Calvin was again devastated. It was time for bed by that point, so I held a kicking screaming boy as we headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth. As tears were streaming down his face I started to feel sorry for myself. Both kids were temperamental yesterday, and I was tired and sad myself. I thought how I wished I had the luxury of throwing a temper tantrum every time Andy left home, and I got a little teary eyed. Calvin noticed my mood and, still in his fit of passion, started slapping my face with his little hands screaming "Mommy be happy! Mommy please be happy!...." and on and on until he cried himself to sleep. It was devastating that he was so sad. I went to bed totally depressed.
Today started out rough as well, but then we decided to get out of the house. Calvin had been asking all morning for a cheeseburger so I loaded the kids up, went to McDonald's and then we drove around for an hour while we ate our healthy lunch. We ended up out in farm country and Calvin loved pointing out all of the cows, horses, and sheep. He kept asking for pigs, but we never did see any of those. When we got home we all took a long nap and then I just played with the kids. I got no housework done, but Autumn laughed for the first time and Calvin chatted incessantly and seemed much happier than yesterday. Right before bed he wanted to put together a puzzle that we had borrowed from Grandma, so we sat on the floor and put it together. As I fit one of the pieces in, he patted my head and said "good boy!" then he stopped scrambling around long enough to really look at my face for several seconds. Then he put his arms around my neck in a tight squeeze and said "I love you so much, Mommy." It was the first time he has ever said the three magic words and it completely melted my heart. A little reminder that there's nothing in the world I'd rather be doing with my life.