Joys of Motherhood

Autumn has turned from the sweetest, most mild-mannered child I've ever seen to a feisty independent little spitfire who climbs, spills, and throws anything she can get her hands on. She climbs on the table scavenging food, but refuses to eat her meals. She screeches loudly if she doesn't get everything she wants. She drives me batty in ways that only a toddler can.

But today was by far the most I have ever wanted to beat her.

I put her down for naps, she laid down, and I thought she was asleep so I went to work on the boy. As I laid down with him, I could hear her talking to herself, but I had to finish getting Calvin to sleep before I went in and checked on her or he would be up again. Finally when the boy was asleep, I went into the nursery.

The smell hit me first. And then the pleased grin of the little girl who was wide awake. And then the fact that she had no pants on. And then it all came in a rush. She had pooped her diaper, and then taken off her diaper, and then she smeared the mushy brown paste all over herself, her crib, and her blankets. I can't be sure, but it seems that there may have even been some rolling around in the stuff involved as well.

It's days like this that I want my career back.

Conversations with Calvin

These days the boy vacillates between being the biggest pain in the rear, to this witty, intelligent, adorable little thing that we can't get enough of. We started a reward chart for him to work on behavior for things like meal time and bedtime. The past few days have been a dream as he's gone out of his way to share, eat his food, go straight to bed, clean up his toys, change out of p.j.s without a fight (he wants to wear them all day everyday) and otherwise be a cheerful and delightful boy to have around. Today he finished his sticker chart, and his reward of choice was:
He wandered around the house all day saying, "Mom and Dad, thank you so much. This is the best day I've ever had." He's spoiled, so I can't imagine that getting a new toy was really that dramatic, but I think he is really proud of himself that he worked hard for it and earned it.

One funny conversation when we started the chart:
Dad: If you want Bullseye, you'll have to earn him. You'll have to do good things until you have enough stickers to earn him.
Calvin: But that's not fair!
Dad: Actually, it's the very definition of fair. You do something to earn a reward, and you receive what you earned. That's exactly what fair means.

Who talks like that to a 3 year old? Made me laugh.

Anyway, he's been unbelievably well-behaved and sweet. I'm totally not above bribery if this is the result.

Also, last night we went to play in the yard and had this conversation:

Me: Do you want to wear shoes or bare feet?
Calvin: (very confused) Bare feet? What do you mean? I don't have bear feet; I only have Calvin feet.

He's a gem.

Rest in Peace, Buzz

Last week Buzz started acting lethargic, puffing his feathers out huge, and laying on the bottom of the cage. I found out everything I could about sick finches and started him on antibiotics, and lots of other things that I hoped would help him get better. I watched them constantly, and Jessie was the sweetest thing ever. She would sit next to him on the perch, letting him lean on her for support. On the days when he looked bad, she'd be extra loud and jumpy, and I imagine it was her letting me know he needed help. Yesterday he looked better and I thought he was improving, but today he didn't come out of the nest at all. I checked on him before naps and he was huddled up in the nest breathing heavily. An hour later, he was gone.

The last pet I had before the birds was in high school. He was a 3ft long iguana named Ike (I was studying Eisenhower at the time). Much to my mother's horror, he roamed freely in my room. During the day he would sit on the windowsill, basking in the sunlight. When I would lay on the couch to read, he would watch me from his perch above me, and then suddenly jump on top of me. I would laugh and pet him, and then he would climb the handles on my dresser to the top of the bunk bed, and do it all over again. He had a funny little personality and I adored him. One day he caught cold, turned black, and nothing we did could save him. I cried for a week straight.

This is why I don't do pets. It's too bloody sad.

I had a little funeral for the bird while Andy kept the kids busy. I hid in a closet and got the tears out, and then tried to decide what to do. I couldn't leave Jessie alone, but I couldn't handle the thought of buying another bird and reliving the cycle over and over. Carrie called some good family friends from our old neighborhood who raise finches. They agreed to take her. I was sad to be a failure and give her away, but when I dropped her off, they showed me their bird set up and I knew she was in the best possible hands.

They had a webcam set up inside of a nest so that they could watch baby birds hatch without disturbing them or the mama. How awesome is that? As soon as Jessie heard the other birds, she went crazy with excitement. She's in a good place, even though I'm sure she'll miss her little buddy. Buzz and Jessie. They were perfect for each other.

Rest in peace, little friend. It's quiet around here. We miss you both already.

Funny Boy

I found these fairy wings at the dollar store a few months ago. I bought them because, hey, you never know when you'll need some fairy wings. When the boy found them a few days ago, Andy was upset at me that once again our little boy is dressing up in girly things and prancing around the house. Whatever. I think he's darling. Especially with his dinosaur camouflage pajamas and butterfly skirt. He asked me to take a picture of him, and did dozens of different poses.

Fun things about Calvin right now:

• He loves to pretend he's different animals (tiny kitty is my least favorite because it involves him licking my face for cat kisses).
• He thinks he is HILARIOUS. He tries to make us laugh all day every day. Pretending to laugh at every antic of a three year old gets exhausting.
• He can dance like a madman. He has all kinds of rhythm and moves. He got his hip action from his father. He loves music.
• He loves books. He would have us read him stories all day if we would, and tries to read the stories along with us. I'm proud of him for being so smart, and I try not to complain too much that it takes us FOREVER to get through every book we open. His favorite book right now:

He thinks it's called "Valentines No" and he quotes it all day long. Oh-nay. Negative. No way, Jose. Nein, nein, nein, nein.

Hot Tubbing

Autumn is a quirky kid. One of these days I will devote a post to all of the little nuances that make her such an interesting child and so much fun to have around. Today though, I will focus on her love of toilets. I think most kids are fixated on them at some point. Calvin loved to splash in them, and there were of course many little toilet disasters that I'm trying to forget. But Autumn takes it to a new level. I will not tell you what she has eaten out of the toilet (I vomit a little just thinking about it), and I will not bore or repulse you with all of the details of her fixation. Let's just say, if ever it's too quiet in the house and she's not in my direct line of sight, the bathroom is the first place I look.

The other day I looked all over the house and couldn't find her anywhere. I checked the bathrooms first, but all of them had closed doors so I moved on. Finally when I couldn't find her anywhere, I went to the basement again and saw a light under the bathroom door. When I opened it, sure enough, there she was inside the toilet bowl leaning back with her arms on the seat like she was kicking back in a hot tub. Ingenious.

She had a huge grin on her face when I found her. She switched to the disgruntled look after I left her to run for the camera.
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