Monday, July 14, 2008

Safe List

I think most married couples have a safe list - a list of celebrities who, if your spouse were ever to meet them, they would be allowed to spend as much time with them as they wanted, doing whatever they chose, no questions asked.

Andy's List:
Angelina Jolie - she doesn't count. I told him to choose someone else. She's too obvious. He said, "fine, as long as she's a given." Sure she's a given, as long as her boy Mr. Pitt can be a given on my list.

Rachel McAdams - I full-heartedly approve of this choice.

Amanda Bynes - I Ireally like her, but I'll always think of her as a teenager, so naturally I feel like she's a bit too young to be on the list of a 30-year-old man. But whatever, it's his list.

Diane Kruger - That's fine. I think she's a passing fancy. As soon as Troy and National Treasure aren't fresh on his mind, he'll come running back to me.

My entire list was on the Today show today. How crazy is that? One day, and all of them - bam, bam, bam. They are:

Christian Bale - Andy full-heartedly approves of this choice. I have loved him since the Newsies days, but as a dark and twisty, muscle-man on Batman he's impossible to resist. He was hilarious on the Today show - he didn't interact with anyone, and he only almost smiled once. I still love him though. I could bring happiness into his life.

Joel McHale - Who doesn't love watching him on The Soup? Especially when he dresses up as Rainbow Bright. There is absolutely nothing more attractive than a man who is funny.

Colin Firth - I fell madly, deeply, and irreversibly in love with Mr. Darcy during Pride and Prejudice, but he just keeps getting better. I didn't know he was in Mamma Mia - I think I'll go see it now.
In the end, this would never work. If Andy ever did meet Angelina or any of the others, I would want every detail, and then I'd pretend to be okay with it, but I'd sulk and hold it against him for the rest of his life.

UPDATE: Andy says he wants to swap Diane Kruger for Scarlett Johansson. Ugh. I don't like her.